Disgusting
by PurpleBacon
Summary: "Cause you're messing up my name. Gotta walk my talk my fame, but I just want to touch your face." Zander/Molly


okay i wrote this like months ago so...i hope you like it anyway! :)

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I.

"Zander, are you okay?" Stevie asks, noticing the bags under his eyes. "You look like you haven't slept a wink."

"Yup. Just been…" He trails off, then shakes his head. "Thinking."

"About?"

"None of your business." He answers, waving her off.

"Fine then, Mr. Skinny Jeans."

"Can we just practice now, please." He mumbles, rubbing his eyes to perk him up. "I'm not in the mood."

Stevie shrugs. "Kk."

II.

I step out of the band room after rehearsal, frowning a bit. I can sense Stevie eyeing me, worriedly. "Stevie, I'm okay."

"Really?" She answers. "I don't think the definition of okay is messing up tons of chords, singing off-key and grumbling all the time."

"I did not sing off-key." I retort, shooting her a glare.

"You know, talking about it usually lifts some weight off your shoulders." She says with a friendly smile.

Stevie's been my friend ever since I got here. She's never let me down. I purse my lips and look down. "Fine." I give in. "It's a girl."

"Duh."

I disregard her comment. "I'm not supposed to like her, but I think I do."

"Who says you can't like her?" She asks casually.

I'm caught off guard, not knowing the answer. "I-I don't know. Society, I guess."

"Since when did society get a say on who you like or don't like?" Stevie answers. She has that cocky smirk on her face when she knows she's right.

I smile gratefully and give her a friendly hug. "Thanks, Stevie."

III.

"Molly!" Grace whines, yet again. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing, I swear!" I reply for the nth time today.

"But you've been spacing off so many times. I know you're hiding something!"

"Okay!" I finally say, frustrated. "So I have a secret. Do I have to tell you everything?"

"Yes!" Grace screams, stomping her foot. "I'm your best friend."

"Grace, I'm sorry. Just not now, please." I tell her. "Look, I have to go now. But we'll go shopping tomorrow, kk?"

Pouting, she nods her head. "See you, then."

I wave at her, walking away.

Stupid Zander, being so irresistibly flawless. I can't even believe I think someone is as perfect as me. Especially, if that someone is from Gravity 5, a band that is supposed to be filled with geeks and losers.

I can't like him. It's stupid and wrong. I am the Queen Perf, while Zander is just Zander from Gravity 5. Liking him would ruin my reputation. Without my reputation, I'm nothing.

Zander is not worth my reputation.

I hope so.

Suddenly I bump into someone. "Hey, watch it!"

"Um, sorry. I wa—" Oh no, not him, not now, not ever. "Oh. Hey, Molly."

"Hi Zander." I greet, looking down to hide the blush seeping into my cheeks. "I-I have to go."

"Wait, Molly. Can I say something first?" He asks, timidly.

I hate that I don't want to walk away.

"What?" I say, trying my best to sound like the Molly people know. He has a troubled look on his face which I cannot believe I find cute.

"I-I hav-" He stutters. I raise an eyebrow. "The-There's so-so"

"Get on with it." I rush him.

"Look, I really really like you. I don't want to like you, but you're irresistible. And it's not just the fanboy crush all boys have on you. It's something more than that. But I know you'll never like me back since I'm just Zander from your rival band so it's never gonna happen." He rants, without a pause for breath. I'm still taking on what he just told me. "So, why don't you just dump me right now so I can just move on."

He likes me. I can't believe Zander likes me. The bell rings, just at the right time. "I have to go to class, Zander." I say, turning. "See you."

I'm pretty sure I bumped 8 people on the way to class. Zander's face is still on my mind, saying those words again and again. I'm happy that he likes me like I like him, but if he likes me and I like him this just gives a bigger chance for my reputation, my life to be ruined.

I'm sorry, Zander.

IV.

The next day, I'm still beating myself up for what I said to Molly yesterday. I was not planning that at all. I was planning a romantic, classic guy move that girls love, but my mouth had plans of its own, apparently.

"So, how'd it go with the girl?" Stevie asks, as we sit down at out lunch table.

"Don't want to talk about it." I answer, wanting to slap myself in the face.

Suddenly, I hear Molly's voice through the mike. "Hello, everyone! It's me, Molly and I have a song for a certain someone." I am so sure her eyes flicked towards me. I don't want to listen. This song could either be my soaring point or my breaking point. And I'm guessing the latter.

"I hope he gets the message." She continues. I hope I never needed the message. There's a rumble of murmurs, but the catchy music drowns it away. I'm sent off holding on to sanity as she sings.

_My heart booms at the speed of light  
But the exit signs always on my mind, always in my sight.  
I can say that I really want to stay,__  
But the devil inside always wins the fight, always gets his way._

Jump out the window gotta get out on the highway,

_Think things have getting too attached I need an escape.  
I'm seeing stars and there is nothing more that I hate, baby.  
_  
She looks at me and I nearly crumble. What is she saying?

_There is something that I gotta say.  
It's disgusting, how I love you.  
God, I hate me. I could kill you.  
__Cause you're messing up my name__.  
Gotta walk my talk my fame, but I just want to touch your face.  
It's disgusting.  
It's disgusting, how you changed me.  
From a bandit to a baby.  
Thinking about gotta change my name,__  
If I'm gonna walk this walk of shame.  
Look at what you do to me.  
It's disgusting._

She ends the song with a bow and a glance my way. She likes me but she can't like me. There's still no happy ending.

"Wow. Sucks for that guy." I hear Stevie say as the bell rings.

"I know." I say and my voice cracks.

"You going to class?"

I cast a longing glance at Molly, fixing her bag. "I'll catch up." I say.

V.

"Molly?" I hear Zander's voice. I exhale a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Zander, I'm sorry." I start, but he cuts me off before I can continue.

"So, you actually like me?" He asks, stepping closer to me.

"Yes, more than I thought capable. I don't like anyone as I like myself." I answer. "But Zander, I know that maybe it ca-"

He cuts me off with a kiss. It's short but transcendental. I'm already enwrapped in it.

He breaks away, but our eyes stay on each other. "I know that you care a lot about your reputation, and I care a lot about you. So, if this is what makes you comfortable and happy, I'll leave you to it." He brushes a strand of hair out of my face. "Just remember that I will always be here, no matter who you are- Molly the Perf or Just Molly." He kisses my forehead and walks away.

"Zander!" I call before he leaves completely. He turns back, slowly. "Thank you." I finish.

He smiles then waves goodbye.

VI.

_Chapter by chapter, I'm falling faster and faster,__  
Becoming manic and magic it's so romantic I panic, oh.  
Hit the eject button but it must be stuck, somethings up.  
What did you slip into my drink, baby?_

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wow that was not good no wonder i didn't post it but yah okay thanks for reading it anyway! :) review if you care please cookies and everything ily guys

stay white lights :)


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